WhO CARES

I could act like I never care

Sit or stand...my souls to bare

Take a deep look right into my eyes

Everyone seems to live their delusional lies

Saying,"It won't happen"

"No ; it won't happen to me"

"It won't happen;No it won't happen to me"

How come you're too blind to see...

seeing

seeing...yeah

seeing...seeing...yeah

Open up your mind and soul

You might learn something that you didn't know

Who said that we have all the answers

Like me it eats my brain like different cancers

So go ahead and just live in your everyday ways

Don't bother even counting the days

Just say,"It won't happen to me"

No it won't happen

Yeah it won't happen to me

It won't happen

yeah...it won't happen to me

Just say,"I'm not blind that I can see"

I'm right

You're wrong

You're weak

I'm strong...blah blah blah

Did I get under your skin

Do I stir the devil within

If I told you that I didn't care

If I didn't have a soul to bare

So delusional

Confusional

Or is it just illusional

I'm weak

You're strong

I'm right

You're wrong...

Yeah...Yeah...Yeah

It really doesn't matter just a voiceless song.

FALLING DOWN

Falling down

Falling down

Falling

down

down

down

I'm falling down

Falling

down

down

down

I fell on my face searching for a place I could run to

Looking back I left something there...and it was you

Down on my luck it seems though I'm stuck where to go to...

Oh God...please tell me

It seems I misplaced my heart somewhere in the trash

Can't seem to see where I lost it the light is too dim

I took all the garbage to the burning pile and lit it in hopes I'd find myself

Flared up and burned the flesh right off my hands when I went to grab it

Where did it go...my soul

I don't even know...

You do reap

Yes...you reap

Yes you reap....what you sow

I'm falling down....falling down

Falling

down

down

down

I'm falling down

Falling down

Falling

down

down

down....

IT WOULDN'T MATTER

No No No No No No No

No No No No No No No

No No No No No No No

All these things you say

Even when I go to pray

You can't possibly mean

Spirits that can't be seen

You say you know who I really am

Well I think it's just a scam

So you wanna get in my mind

What the hell do you think you'll find

I'm not in the mood to be a fleshy toy

Or to pampered like some needy boy

I just want you to show me a different side

Just like me the part so many try to hide

Talk to a friend or anyone that you feel close to

Then just assume the next thing that I'm going to do

So many different things going on in my head

The 1st didn't get it or the 2nd on what I said

If I fell on my hands and knees would it really matter

Or would it just make your ego even all the more fatter

So I made myself look like a ignorant silly fool

Knowing deep inside I broke some other rule

It wouldn't matter

Would it

It wouldn't matter at all

It wouldn't matter would it

It wouldn't matter if I fall

No No No No No No No

No No No No No No No

No No No No No No No

I threw away so many addictions

Holding back my pain and afflictions

Always hurting so much for you

What do you want me to say or do

Having trouble can't handle this pain

A life without you is driving me insane

Needing to tell you so bad how I feel

The only thing in my heart that I know is real

Scared to lose you as soon as we're together and in love

A punishment from God and his eyes around and up above

The happiness given and then taken away

Mourning for you from the loss on that day

I can't bear that torment on my soul

I can't  handle it and I thought you should know

So I stay in this constant slump of hell

In my own self-centered created hardened shell

Wishing I was more for you to honor the same

Sadly to be I keep drowning in my own shame

If I knew in my soul you belonged to me forever and always

I would be only faithful to you until my dying days

But it wouldn't matter would it

It wouldn't matter at all

It wouldn't matter would it

It wouldn't matter if I fall....No no no

The burden is mine and not yours...I'll always love you Wildflower....no matter where my life leads...always...and forever...until love finds the unexpected.

Ill tempered

Goodbye...a tear in my eye

wHY DO i EVEN REALLY TRY

Good day whatta ya say

STUPID LITTLE WORDS GETT'N ALL IN THE WAY

it's in and out my mind AND THOUGHT

CUZ i'M WASTING MY TIME YOU LIKE ME DISTROUGHT

I don't care what you really think

It's gone as fast...AS FAST as I blink

I don't care what you really think

I don't...I don't

I don't care...YEAH!!

i DON'T...I DON'T CARE YEAH!!

Go ahead and tell em that you know me

SO Go ahead your freedoms free

so Go ahead tell em what you think of me

Go ahead tell em...JUST go ahead

Tell em...go ahead tell em yeah teLl em...YEAH...YEAH...YEAH

cuz It really doesn't matter that much

Hold me back be like that human crutch

so Go ahead...go ahead yeah...YEAH...YEAH...YEAH GO AHEAD

SO Just go ahead tell em...just go ahead

It really doesn't matter what you think of me

You're too blind not like you really see

So go ahead

just...just

just go ahead now

It's been too many years

doesn't matter if I drank a thousand beers

so go ahead

go ahead and say it

so take a shot it'll be a direct hit

I don't care

I don't care what you think of me

I don't care

I don't care what you see

So take a little shot in the dark

You never know you might start a spark

So go ahead

Just...just...just go ahead

so just...just go ahead..go just..just...just go ahead

I hurt myself again today

I doubt it mattered that much to you anyways

so lost in words I lack on things I should say

So go ahead..just go ahead..yeah just...just..go ahead

Go ahead break me down

so go ahead...tell em with a frown

so go ahead...just...just go ahead

so go ahead...just...just go ahead...yeah

just go ahead...yeah...just go ahead

cuz I really don't mind

as You'll find...I really don't mind

I really don't

I really don't mind

This time...no...I don't mind...yeah I don't...no i don't mind

YOU BREAK ME DOWN BUT YOU DON'T CARE

iN MY HEART i THOUGHT YOU'D SHARE

YOU JUST BREAK ME AND YOU DON'T CARE

YOUR LOVE YOU DON'T AND NEVER SHARE

YOU BREAK ME...YOU BREAK ME AND DON'T CARE...YOU DON'T...YOU...DON'T CARE

mY LOVE YOU DON'T SHARE

sO BREAK ME...BREAK...BREAK...BREAK ME...SO BREAK

SO BREAK...BREAK...BREAK ME...SO BREAK...BREAK...BREAK ME DOWN

yOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME

SO LET'S JUST SEE

SO YOU THINK YOU'RE THE BEST

BETTER THAN THE REST

yOU THINK YOU CAN FORGET

AND JUST LIVE IN YOUR PAIN AND REGRET

YOU THINK i'LL JUST SUBMIT

PERHAPS I'LL JUST ABSENTLY FORGET

i'M NOT THAT EASY TO ERASE

VANISH WITHOUT A TRACE

NO...I DON'T...DON'T...DON'T...DON'T THINK SO

NO...I DON'T...DON'T...DON'T THINK..THINK...THINK...SO

tELL EM WHAT YOU THINK i REALLY DON'T MIND

iT SURE MAKES MY TEETH GRIND

BUT I DON'T...I DON'T...DON'T...DON'T...MIND

i dON'T...i DON'T...DON'T...DON'T MIND

i DON'T..i DON'T...DON'T...mIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!!!

DA DA DA DA DA DA MIND YEAH DA DA DA DA DA DA DA MIND YEAH.

hOPE i DIDN'T STUTTER WITH A FLUTTER DID YOU GET THAT?!?!?

POINTLESS

They didn't get it

I didn't get through

It doesn't matter much there's nothing I can do

Nothing I can do...bout what'll happen to you

I could waste my time think'n bout the end of my days

I should just pack it all in and say,"Well anyways"

Shrug it off cuz it doesn't matter

Just dead fish on my platter

Stagnant water with a strange smell

You was warned so many times...but oh well

Tested so many just to see what I'm miss'n

When it all comes down I'm the one they was diss'n

They didn't get it

I didn't get through

It doesn't matter that much there's nothing I can do

Noth'n I can do...bout what'll happen to you

Just go ahead and follow your own path

The book told you bout God's wrath

Boo hoo and whine then shed tears

Suffer forever given all your worst fears

So damn sure you got it figured out

Convince yourself without a doubt

Locusts in the sky masked and armored hide

Don't have to tell God he knows you lied

They didn't get it

I didn't get it through

It doesn't matter that much there's nothing I can do

Noth'n I can do...bout what'll happen to you....

No you don't believe so sure I'm wrong and you're right

Perhaps you should loosen the screw it's a tad too tight

David

Amoz

Solomon

Moses

Lucifer

Lilith

Did any sinner look in the book

And reading the book did you really look

He created a male and female at the same time

So forget 2 cents here's a whole dime

Eve didn't come until later on out of Adams side

From Adam's mourning lost his love so he cried

Lilith was his first companion and wife

This I know is true I'd bet my life

Why was it taken out of the bible

Man's tampering that's undeniable

She is mentioned in Isaiah 34

Read it your brain might learn more

If taken out then you have the wrong one to read

So let me plant in your mind a seed

Revelation she rides a monstrous beast

On all that's good and holy she will feast

Scarlet dress Lilith's favorite color to wear

Usually preferring raven black for dying her hair

What is Lilith's weakness for her demise

Read the good book if you're wise...Ive grown weary of my tries...I hate goodbyes

Thank God...COULD I FINALLY DIE ALREADY??? I grow so sick of this...If you'd just kill that stupid bastard of a fallen angel satan...red dragon...JUST LET ME HAVE MY SHOT AT ONE OF THE DRAGONS JUST ONE OF THOSE BEASTS!!!...cuz I'm sick of being here...where devils dwell on earth. That would make me very happy even if it does kill me I got it and that's all that will matter I kept my word...and I want to see the stupid looks on peoples faces while in your glory...he has strong influence here and I'm not happy at all with my actions and confusion...I'm very irritated about his existence and hers...nevermind...forgive me of that perhaps I'm yet again forgetting my place...they are avoiding my progress I am to blame for the attention;but I don't recall you giving her the right to wed another? You never informed me that you gave her permission...I've tried to better myself and I don't deserve special privileges;but she has ran off with another yet again...she didn't even confront me...she just watched from distances when all I really needed from her was to confront me and say,"I believe in you and I'm there for you." She didn't even have the decency to do that...A woman and that misfit moron are...you know already what's going on. This depression...man's mental decease is annoying me...I'm 31 going on 32...Take away all her money and riches for all I care serves her right...I am asking you for a little justice...she tormented me along with him and I'm waiting for you to punish them or just her I'm not picky all of them for all I care. You will and do it to me all the time even when I'm doing good...I'm just asking for justice that's all and man has no real concept on what that is. You know my situation and misfortunes and struggles I go through and in my heart you know what good I'll do because it's in my nature...I'll wait because I have no choice but I say this,"Anyone from this day forward mocking me I hope they bite their tongue to the point of bleeding depending on how ill it is tward me." I like writing my thoughts like I like talking...not to fond of it as you already know so this is it I hate it here and you know why . I'll keep studying to understand what I thought or didn't...not trying to test you;but when is enough enough? You punished over a fruit...don't get me wrong disobeying is disobeying ;but God man's no smarter than they were back then they just think they are. It doesn't matter what I need...so nevermind.

Warning:this is not an axe commercial

Good is Good

Bad is Bad

There is no in between you either are or you're not learn the difference before it's too late and judgement has come.

Good and Bad or Bad and Good are not exceptional together.

Bad is an Evil act of conduct or immoral having no virtue lacking righteousness.

Good is being moral,virtuous,honor for righteous things.

Learn the difference there is no in between.

Believe or don't doesn't matter much to me.

Say others that you know me

Such an arrogant deluded lie

Talk,talk,talk and say,"believe me"

Lie,lie,lie and say,"you can trust me"

Confusion sets in as the fire consumes the mind

Thoughts turned to sparks and red ashes burn

Inside so much hurt and tears extinguish the flames

Thick clouds of  blackened gray ash darkened view

Can not breathe fresh air the oxygen is being polluted

Who are you to judge and contradict with persecution

Who are you to talk of love and belittle someone less

Who are you to say,"I am doing good by my works"

What are you

What

are

you

Happy and mad

Angry and sad

Tearful and glad

Happy then sad

Angry then glad

Tearful then mad

Something is not right

Something

is

not

right.....

Feeling gravity pulling me down 6 ft as if in the ground

Filth from the soil and dust from the dirt all over the body

Found some water to wash it all away only turning to mud

Starts caking on my skin feeling even more dirtier than before

Puddle of water has an odd smell as if someone has been relieved

Even more filthy than before and now smelling like a sewage dump

Take,take,take and say,"It'll get better"

Laugh,laugh,laugh and say,"You deserve it"

Happy and mad

Angry and sad

Tearful and glad

Happy then sad

Angry then glad

Tearful then mad

Something is not right

Something

is

not

right....

Hurt in my chest as if dying the aching pain is suffocating me

All this burning inside and now the filth covering the outside

A rock,a tree,and a patch of wildflowers looks like a bed

So weakened inside and out the souls craving nourishment

Pit of stomach growls bones and muscles feel weakened

Have to make it to the tree to rest...still have a little strength

Seems to take forever....

you can make it

make it

m

a

k

e

i

t.....

Finally there tripping and stumbling on my own feet

Cracking my head on the rock the throbbing brain

blood trickles down my face

can...no...longer...move...

exhaustion....

Rain starts to pour can't feel it under the tree

Leaves on the limbs are catching all the rain

A tear rolls down my face so humbled with no choice

On my stomach face down here covered by so much filth

Can't take the smell of this stench any longer it's suffocating me

Crying even more now trying to open my mouth to speak

Trying so hard to shout out,"GOD HELP ME I CAN'T MOVE!!"

Only  screaming in my mind because no words would came out

Then it just popped up in thoughts

Tearful and sad

Angry and mad

Happy and glad

Irritated and upset about stumbling and hitting my head

Not being able to wash this filthy gunk off of my skin

Bleeding,smelly,no choice....I HAVE NO CHOICE!!

God can't hear me I have to call out....AHHHH!!!

I HATE ME I HATE ME I HATE ME!!

Then it just popped up in thoughts

Angry and mad

Tearful and sad

Happy and glad

Lightning strikes the tree limb and it falls beside me

Through the opening made rain starts pouring down even harder

Washing all the filth and grime on my back...just my back...I STILL CAN'T MOVE

Then I hear a voice from a distance that sounded very close to me

A hand grabs my shoulder turning me on my back...a woman

She asks,"Are you alright?","Did the tree hit you?"

Then I noticed my body was able to move a little and I smiled

Then it popped in my thoughts

Happy and glad

Angry and mad

Tearful and sad

I spoke and said,"I get it...OW MY HEAD!"

Weakened I managed to get up ; then she says,"come with me it's pouring"

Grabbing my arm she puts it over her shoulder to support me

While walking she says,"Strange for the limb to hit you there"

In an incoherent manner curious I asked,"Why is that?"

She explains,"The patch of flowers is my husbands grave."

Then she said,"The rock was his tombstone marker."

Still a little impaired I asked,"Why there?"

She replies,"That's where we first met under that tree."

Thinking to myself,"How strange that I wanted to die there."........

 T

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♥ Back To The Drawing.